There is no doubt that a long distance relationship will be very difficult to sustain. The distance will certainly make it difficult but it is more about finding an opportunity to meet up regularly rather than counting the miles. Relationships carry enough pressure but a long-distance relationship can increase that pressure substantially and if you are both unable to meet up for some weeks or months, then this can really start to chip away at the foundations of any relationship.
So the foundations of your relationship need to be really strong. If you can spend some time together in the early days to develop and grow your relationship and to ensure that you have a strong connection, then you are in with a fighting chance. If you both feel that your relationship is too good to just give up on, then you have to work out a plan of action so that you can reduce the frustration that is going to occur when you have long periods of time apart.
Apart from the pain of missing each other, absence also brings up a certain amount of fear. Fear of losing each other can make for a lot of doubts and this fear can very quickly escalate. It’s vital however that you learn to control these feelings and to not let any nagging doubts creep into your precious telephone calls or chat times. If your time is limited, you need to spend quality time chatting and to not allow your fears to rise to the surface. If you start discussing any concerns about infidelity, it can very quickly become a trigger that pushes your partner to start looking at others. It may be hard but showing your vulnerability or accusing someone of being unfaithful is not a positive move.
It’s possible to keep your romance alive if you can see each other even once every few weeks. It’s a long enough time apart to make you both miss each other but a short enough time to enable you to keep yourself busy. Make time to talk most days. Even the day to day stuff that isn’t exciting can be shared and this can serve to form additional bonds. Communication is absolutely vital- whether by letter, email, phone or IM. It doesn’t matter if you are in the same country or if your partner is overseas, it has never been so easy to stay in touch and regular contact or the chance to just hear each other’s voices or to chat via Skype so that you can see each other, can really boost the connection between you.
Never try to check up on each other or to catch each other out. It can be tempting especially if they start talking about those other people who get to see your partner much more than you do but you have to remember that it is probably perfectly innocent. Other people naturally form part of their daily lives but the chances are that the pain of being apart is the same for both of you.
There will be days when you feel very alone and understandably miserable. Social networking can add a little extra contact and help you to boost your morale. Facebook enables you to send each other fun messages or to comment on messages posted with people that you both know. It is important to try to make the best of the time you have to be apart and to not worry, when you are reunited, it will be a wonderful time.
It may sound a little bizarre but sometimes having time apart is a good thing. It enables you to both focus on your careers and to enjoy time with friends. This freedom affords you the chance to do the things that you want to do in life and to share those experiences then with your partner when you get to chat next. A long-distance relationship is always going to be difficult but you can’t help who you fall in love with and providing you are both as dedicated to the relationship as each other, you will at least be experiencing the same multitude of emotions.
If the distance starts to become too much, try to plan some time together so that you can reaffirm your feelings for each other. Even a weekend away together can make such a difference and strip away the fears and frustrations at being apart so much. Sometimes that is all you need. A few quality hours together may affirm your love for each other and to help you cope with the time apart going forward. Just remember that distance can actually work in your favour and become a real positive force behind a relationship that continues to grow. It is how you handle the separation that will determine its success.